Sunday, November 2, 2008

Vote or Die

After what seems like years of primaries and campaign trails the time has come to finally get out there and vote, which is what I hope all of you plan to do on Tuesday if you haven't already. This election has been covered from front to back and top to bottom. We've watched the presidential and vice presidential candidates debate. We've heard the words reform, economy, taxes, and health care tossed around ad nauseum. We've heard sound bites like "fundamentally sound", "small town Americans", "mavericks", and "going rogue". We've heard the names Joe Six-Pack, Joe the Plumber, and Joe Obiden. We've heard everything we're going to hear from the candidates and now it's time to make our decision. In the spirit of what appears to be an historic election, I would like to add some of my own personal talking points to keep in mind when going to the polls:

~ Barack Obama is not Muslim. Remember the whole Reverend Wright uproar? If he has a reverend then he's not Muslim. Sorry conservatives, you can't have it both ways.

~ John McCain doesn't know whether he should sit down and talk to President Zapatero of Spain (or any other Latin American leaders).

~ Barack Obama is half black and half white.

~ John McCain has never been an astronaut.

~ Sarah Palin's view of Russia from a tiny Alaskan island gives her foreign policy experience.

~ John McCain plans on giving everyone a $5000 credit for health care, even though your current plan most likely costs close to $12,000.

~ Sarah Palin was stumped by Charles Gibson, Katie Couric, and two comedians from Canada (now those two are a couple of mavericks.)

~ Barack Obama is not Marxist, Socialist, or Satanic.

~ Sarah Palin can't name any newspapers she reads or any Supreme Court cases other than Roe vs. Wade (c'mon Sarah, Brown vs. Board of Education, Dred Scott vs. Sanford, Miranda vs. Arizona, Curly vs. The Three Stooges...oh, wait, ignore that last one.)

~ John McCain knows how to catch Bin Laden...but he'll only tell us once he's President.

~ The fact that Obama rhymes with Osama means absolutely nothing.

~ There is nothing wrong with having hope and supporting change.

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